It’s not been a great summer to be Bisexual. On top of all the hate being directed at LGBTQ+ people from right-wing bigots, we’ve also had to deal with way too much biphobia from within our own community. In short: JoJo Siwa, Fletcher and Billie Eilish have all attracted criticism for dating men, because some people mistakenly believe it has something to do with them.
Meanwhile, this week Marie Claire released an interview with Dove Cameron, who was accused of ‘Queerbaiting’ before she officially shared that she was, in fact, Bisexual, in 2021. In the interview, Dove explained that when she started dating a man, “it was almost like, ‘Oh, wait, but I thought you were Queer?’ It feels quite reductive and, yes, very tiring.”
The criticism levelled against JoJo in particular has been extremely virulent, hinging mostly on a wilful misreading of her new relationship with Chris Hughes as her calling herself straight, rather than Queer, as she did on Celebrity Big Brother. Chris even had to come to her defence in an interview with The Sun’s Fabulous magazine last weekend.
@itsjojosiwa And sometimes you own them and sometimes you regret them
♬ original sound – Little Legend
“I do feel a sense of responsibility that being with me has led to her getting hate,” he said. “Joelle [JoJo’s offstage name] has been with girls all her life. She is Bisexual. She’s not now straight just because she’s with me… She is still part of the LGBTQ+ community, she always will be.”
A really stupid comment under one of JoJo’s videos with Chris Hughes.
Bisexual women with boyfriends are not the enemy right now: that would be the perpetrators of hate crimes, the entire Trump administration, legislators attacking Trans rights, and far-right politicians like Nigel Farage sharing shitty opinions on Gay marriage. To a few loud voices in the community, being the “wrong” side of Bisexual is the equivalent to holding a placard at a Westboro Baptist Church rally, or ripping up a pride flag and making it into a Hooters uniform (come to think of it, that would be cunty af).
For JoJo, Dove, Fletcher or Billie to be blamed for Queer erasure is not only untrue but wildly unfair. Despite Bisexuals making up the largest subset of the LGBTQ+ population, it feels inevitable that our relationships come at the risk of disappointing someone. But I cannot erase the part of my sexuality that is attracted to straight men, just as I cannot erase the part attracted to women and gender non-conforming people. If the LGBTQ+ community and our allies are really going to use the slightly insipid phrase “love is love”, we have to actually mean it.
I’m not dumb – I know that mine or JoJo’s relationships with men do not contribute to the representation of Queer people as a whole. But they shouldn’t detract from our individual visibility. The only way we could negatively impact anyone else in the community is if we publicly announced that it had been a phase all along, endorsed conversion therapy, and labelled our old Queerness repulsive. But rest assured, I am still a lover of tits, flannel and Gay sex, and that will never change!
It would be nice if, in 2025, old school biphobia could be left in that one episode of Sex And The City, and the rest of us could get on with having all those mythical threesomes we’re supposed to be having, or something like that.
